Ladies and gentleman, isn't love divine? More so, when a bunch of psychologists endorse your relationship based on your personalities?. Both INFJ and INTJ are perfectionists– you can see either one of them other is happy and everything is okay, even if no problems are evident. Both INFJs and INTJs have dominant Introverted Intuition. . Inwardly they like to analyze, solve problems, categorize ideas, and find precise.
A date is not an interview INTJs famously require a mate of the mind - someone clever, preferably genius, and independent enough to stand up to the INTJ's formidable intellect. Most INTJs will figure out very quickly whether someone makes the grade. If not, the INTJ will waste no time on further courtship. We are through with the interloper. We will not look back. To make a fair assessment, an INTJ typically will bombard their date with the "big" questions.
And by big, I mean the sort of complex, probing, no-stone-left-unturned questions you get asked at an interview. We think we are nailing down our date's personality and suitability this way.
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In fact, we're killing the buzz 90 percent of the time. Ask your date what kind of music they like movies, books, food. Everyone has an opinion on these subjects. Your date won't feel stressed talking about their favorite meal. If your date is a poor conversationalist or displays terribly bad taste, cut your losses.
But if the conversation naturally veers off at a tangent and throws up all sorts of delicious morsels, then you've probably struck gold. And you didn't even ask your date about their life goals. Sometimes, you've just got to go for it INTJ's score high on the Judging scale, which means they like to have things decided. However, this only occurs when we've made up our minds. Until then, we are flexible and open to new information. This is a problem, because we have a tendency to spend a ridiculous amount of time studying the ins and outs of relationships - knotty issues like our feelings, whether the flames of passion are burning, and the significance of it all.
Intimacy can burn rather slowly until we've sorted everything out. By then, the object of our affection will have lost interest. So hurry it up already. In a cautious world, seizing the moment is undeniably romantic and sexy. No one likes haughty If you want to destroy romance, be sure to think of yourself as smarter, more intuitive, more conscientious, more rational and more important than your date. Cross examine them and challenge their assumptions. Always strive to be right, even if it crushes your significant other.
Don't worry about the personal cost of your attitude, and never give anyone a break. We do seem to lack interest in everyday living. I cannot say that I spend that much time obsessing over the ironing or the washing. Mind you, until earlier this year, my dear boyfriend had existed on this earth without owning an iron. We are both young professionals and I suspect a large part of our desire to succeed in our careers is so that we can hire a few assistants in later life. Thinking-Feeling So this is where we start to diverge.
Me and my boyfriend are both introverted intuitive types.
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However, we externalise our introverted intuitive perceptions differently. The primary difference comes down to Thinking vs Feeling. For the majority of the time, our temperaments are similar. Everything can be packaged in his little Thinker head. He is one of the few people I know who can take criticism and make an action plan from it without taking offence. I call him Action Plan Man. He tackled the problem with military precision and would completely phase out for an hour a day whilst completing the mission.
He asked for my input throughout the whole process and he took all my feedback well and continued on his little mission.
I cannot speak for him on this matter without tooting my own horn. Sometimes I notice how straightforward with me he is and have to remember not to take offence because a large part of the internalisation is to do with INFJs being sensitive to all emotions. So when my thinker boyfriend says something bluntly without meaning anything ill at all, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from me.
In this respect I do believe that this is where we are well balanced.
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Between us we are ablate gain a lot of different perspectives before making important decisions. I do not like conflict and sometimes will go to great lengths to avoid this. It sometimes makes the situation more complicated than normal. We normally just laugh it off. There is a lot of affection in the relationship.
I think he clocked on early on that this was my language of love and he has been exemplary. Likewise, I also have to be very straightforward with him about my feelings as this is the way he receives my show of affection better. Judging-Judging We like to use calendars to organise ourselves. If it is not in our calendars, it is not happening.
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The other sends an invite and we accept or decline accordingly. It really is that simple. We are both opinionated, but this somehow has not been an issue because we are both always willing to compromise or budge. NFs are fun, after all. Tries to be more like NT to compensate. This doesn't feel right.
NT doesn't get it. NT feels pressure from NFs emotional demands, needs distance to figure things out. This might be only INTs. NF panics, becomes more needy. NF suddenly realizes that the reason things aren't working is that the NT is cold and unfeeling or not nurturing or some other horrible thing. Abandons NT without looking back. This is especially likely with the NFPs.
NT is confused and sometimes relieved. Most of them are very successful and are beautiful, growing relationships.