Suburgatory - Wikipedia
Today's News. Suburgatory Boss on the "Tough" Search for Tessa's Mom, George and Dallas' Rush Into Dating. By Kate Stanhope | Aug 8, PM EDT. Are George (Jeremy Sisto) and Dallas (Cheryl Hines) this "Again, I think that you have to inch into the dating part and what the real. The Dallas Dating Company offers dating service for the Dallas. We are offering a dignified dating solution for singles. Call us at
He is then greeted by his college buddy Noah Werner - a very wealthy and successful dentist who pays loads of money to preserve his body by bleaching his hair blonde and getting spray-tans. George and Noah sit and George is mortified once he witnesses a woman stride by, not paying attention because she is too fed up on texting, and land in the pool.
He tried to warn her, and Noah then informs George that that happens all the time - and the implants serve as a flotation device, so the woman bobs up - still texting. Later, a waitress takes their orders, only to attempt to "serve herself on a bed of his choosing". Next, George has a architectural consultation with a suburban woman who hired him to install a skylight over her daughter's bed. Once he goes to the house, he is greeted by the big-haired and fake-tanned woman - Dallas Royce.
She gives him a tour of her daughter, Dalia's, bedroom; showing him where the skylight should be placed and after George sees how much Dallas spoils Dalia - the wall of hair products and cosmetics, the walk-in shoe closet - he seeks parental advice from her. He asks Dallas what she would do if Dalia had been hiding condoms in her own nightstand.
After being asked to describe the condoms, Dallas says that if she was George, she would have to trust Tessa because if they were only in the drawer "she obviously wasn't trying hard to hide them". George then wishes Tessa could have what Dalia has - the shoes, the hair extensions, the motherly love - so Dallas suggests that the two of them take Dalia and Tessa on a play date to the mall.
Dallas also informs him that the latest gossip traveling behind the picket fences is that George is a widower. Later, the two pull up to the sidewalk that Tessa is passing through and they "body-snatch" her. They speed off two the last place Tessa would want to be on Earth and George is shooed off by Dallas once they takeover a boutique.
George asks if they would like him to fetch them some food court snacks, though Dallas furiously reminds him that if they gorge themselves with unhealthy food court cuisine, they will bloat while trying on garments. He then goes to where Dallas suggested he goes - the "dad couch" - a bench where several middle-aged men jabbering on cell phones where seated.
He is not present when Dallas starts critiquing Tessa's bra, though later we see Noah was invited to eat dinner with him and Tessa at the Altman residence. Tessa enters the dinning room in a provocative number she threw together called "Mall Skank". George then tries to feed Tessa the pot-roast Sheila Shay baked them, though Tessa insists that she has dinner handled herself, as she brought her own food - a can of sugar-free Red Bull.
George tells her that the Red Bull was not her dinner, though she pops open the can and takes a sip, which makes George angry. She tells him that he was the one who wanted her to be just like all the other suburban girls - and the suburban girls skip meals to instead guzzle down a can of Red Bull well, Tessa says so.
She angrily storms from the room after her and George get into an argument. The next day, her and George pull out past-aggressive reference books. They pull their books away and tell each other how they feel about the move to the suburbs - Tessa relating it to the death of a childhood goldfish. George then says that Tessa needs to give the suburbs a try, the same way she did with Federico Fellini's foreign films she first thought were boring because they contained subtitles and were in black and white, though ended up loving.
Tessa gets up in the middle of George's comment to answer the door. In the last scene, George waters the front lawn and from across the street, Sheila Shay tells him she heard him and her friend, Jocelyn - the waitress from the country club, informed her that she and George really hit it off.
Then, all of a sudden, Jocelyn pops up from behind Sheila and yells to George that she has started to stalk him. In "The Barbeque" George and Tessa turn into Sheila Shay's victims - every morning after she wakes up, she waters her lawn, turns off her garden hose and proceeds to walk straight across the street to invite George and Tessa to dinner at her house.
Though, they have been running out of creative ways to turn her offers down with. Once Tessa suggests that they run Sheila over with George's car, they hear Sheila's hose system squeak off, signaling she had completed watering her lawn. She walks over to their house and in a melodramatic sequence of events, George dumps his cereal, Tessa runs for the back door and it looks like they may evade the grips of Sheil Shay's dinner invites once again.
But then the unthinkable happens: He reluctantly agrees to her millionth invitation. So, before the two of them leave to embark the Shay's Stepford-web, they create code words in case there happens to be any point in the middle of dinner that they would want to flee away from. They decide on "pickles" and "irritable bowel". Once they swig open the door to leave, they see Sheila Shay on the front steps, beaming and demanding to know what was keeping the two.
Once at dinner, Sheila and her husband Fred peck at George with questions about his departed wife and once George asks for them to allow him no further comment, they force him into answering anyway.
George says the two simply split up fifteen years from then. Sheila and Fred insist that Tessa follows Ryan and Lisa into the basement along with Ryan's group of friends so they all can catch front row seats at the gun-show while Fred and Sheila annoy George in privacy about his "failed marriage".
Once the teens all go downstairs, Fred and Sheila put on their poker faces and explain a serious matter to George - once a new family moves to Chatswin, they must invite their neighbors to a barbeque - the barbeque - so they do not seem unwelcoming.
Once he tries to ask questions, they force him to stuff his face with cake and listen to them blabber. Once Tessa storms up the stairs yelling "Pickles!
Later, George suspects something usual is occurring in Tessa's life when he witnesses her stare into the distance as she has the milk carton tilted towards her cup - though she is not pouring anything at all. He questions what the entire incident that made Tessa yell "Pickles! The next day, George accompanies Noah at the hair salon. Noah tells George the same thing the Shays at told him - he must throw the barbeque. Noah says that George better have it quickly and Noah is also surprised with the fact that people are still talking to him - surprised that he is even talking to him.
Noah then allows George to use his grill - not just any grill, the holy grail of all grills. As Noah is on his way out, he runs into Dallas, who tells him that yes, he must have the barbeque before the situation gets out of hand.
She has him walk with her, and during their stroll through the hair salon, Dallas spills the details about the run-in between Tessa and Ryan's lips - she says its just a neighbor looking out for another neighbor, as she is worried that "baby neighbors" will be welcomed if she didn't.
That night at dinner, George and Tessa eat in silence until the subject comes up and George slowly questions Tessa about Ryan. As he does, Tessa remains silent and blames George that the situation was his fault, not hers, as he took her from her natural environment and dropped her in the middle of the suburbs and then she storms from the room.
The next day, George holds a barbeque in his backyard. Once Noah fires up his grill, Sally, Dallas confronts George to compliment the guacamole. She asks him if he smooched it himself, and he tells her he did, which leads her to change the subject by saying "speaking of smooching" - which means she is going to once again throw questions out into the open about Tessa and Ryan.
He tells her he could not manage to pester any information from Tessa, though he says she did make a cryptic comment about penguins.
Dallas tells her that she believes "penguin" may be Web-language for male crotch, so she tells George she will get back to him after she looks it up on Yahoo! After that, George has a run-in with two obviously homosexual neighbors, and George comments that it is so nice to see a gay couple, as it makes him feel like he is still living in New York because the place is flooding with gays.
The two men's jaws drop, and they ask if there really is a gay couple in the suburbs. They quickly tell George to "dish" because they love hearing all the gossip before their wives. Next, Noah runs up to George and informs him that Sally is deal - she is out of propane.
George suggests that Noah goes to purchase more propane, though the only store that sells a tank of propane big enough to feed Sally is closed on Sunday - and it was Sunday. George then whips out his old barbeque grill he had in New York and feeds Chatswin their highly-demanded barbeque. In the last scene, we see Tessa sit on the back steps of the porch and her and George both share barbeque while George tells Tessa a story about a woman he used to know who he couldn't stand - the woman turning out to be the departed Ms.
Sheila makes Tessa lunch and transports her to and from school every day, Sheila even set up a college fund in Tessa's name. But, apparently, it's not the motherly gestures Sheila is pulling, it's just her So he decides to drive Tessa to school and once he gets there, he confronts Sheila and tells her she can stop mothering his daughter, though Sheila insists that it is her duty as president of the PTA to take care of all children as if they were her own.
Though, he tries his hardest to show her. The next day, George shows up at his first PTA meeting and once every woman is seated, Sheila Shay slams her gavel and demands that everybody quiets down so she can start asking George if Tessa is up to date on her immunizations. George then tells them all that working parents have to balance more than non-employed parents and George states that he does not have enough time to constantly mother like those mothers mother.
So, Sheila angrily gavels George, to which George comments that maybe it was time to gavel Sheila. The mothers all gasp, stating that the PTA hasn't been this exciting since Connie Kisshell had a psychotic break-down. The next day, George and Noah are running on treadmills at the country club gym and George is explaining to Noah about all of his troubles with Sheila.
Then, Jocelyn appears to flirt with George as she offers him a cucumber-infused washcloth. George then walks away and on his way out, Dallas hunts him down in the middle of her tennis lesson. She pleads that George drops out of the PTA as he offended about every one of those women at the latest meeting.
He tells her that they offended him and he storms off as Dallas snaps that George cannot take the towels off the country club property. Connie introduces that meeting's activity, which is a work-out that will do wonders for your self-esteem. George nods with approval until Sheila and the women agree how much stress giving birth puts on their "chi-chi"s. So Sheila lowers a curtain to a stripper pole, which humiliates George completely.
Dallas then works the pole and next in line is Deena Doogan, who disinfects the pole and starts to interperate her morning routine. She breaks down admitting she is not at all sexy and starts to babble about her marital problems and George steps in to help, giving her advice that makes her feel better.
Sheila laughs and asks if the women are going to have a man give them advice about their men The women huddle around George, who shoos them off and reminds them of the "one at a time" rule.
Sheila then quits and the women decide to pass the gavel to George. Later, while George is gossiping on the phone with several moms, saying who looks 50 and suggesting what tops they should wear to PTA functions, Tessa tells him how crazy he sounds. During the discussion of jobs for the occasion, Dallas reminds George of all the duties that used to be held by Sheila, though George shamelessly decides to take it upon himself to do all them.
So, after he gets the bouquets and refreshments for Teacher Appreciation Week, we see him doing the dishes in a pair of mom jeans So Tessa suggests that George hangs up his new jeans and begins to start being a father once again.
So, George walks across the street and returns the gavel to basket case Sheila, who insists that the PTA needs their marital counselor. To get Sheila into PTA president mode, George mentions an upcoming function - a picnic at a petting zoo, which is located near a plant.
Almost instantly, Sheila thinks of the fumes of the plant mixed with the picnic and the baby ducks Sheila just always remembers those fumes. So, order returns to Chatswin as Sheila gets her gavel back. It turns out that Sheila Shay's collection of Shirley Temple dolls has been stolen.
Next, George and Noah meet together over lunch at the country club. Noah informs George that ever since the doll burglary, business in his dental practice has been rising to the roof. He advises George to also take advantage of the opportunity and create panic rooms in the homes of families to help them feel safer, while helping himself earn extra cash.
Noah is pointing at the panic rooms of Bono and Jay-Z while George is saying that, as an architect, he knows that not many people add extra rooms to their homes. All of a sudden, a nervous and vulnerable Dallas rushes into the restaurant and starts selecting decor for the panic room she demands that George installs in her house. George just isn't on with the panic room idea.
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That night, when George and Tessa are setting the table for microwave pizza night, the doorbell suddenly rings. In the doorway stands Dalia, who then is rushed up to by Dallas and two Louie Veton trunkloads of their things. Apparently, since the Royces do not yet have a panic room to panic in, they felt like "sitting ducks in their big professionally-decorated home" and rushed over to the Altman's "cozy" house to seek refuge from Chatswin's crime-ridden streets.
So, not that much time goes by before Dallas starts to annoy George and Tessa. Dallas then adds "a woman's touch" by setting the table with a vase full of roses she stole from Sheila's flower garden, china she stole from a moving box marked 'Good Dishes', and a table runner. This irritates him and Tessa because even after they explained to Dallas that it's only pizza night and they prefer to eat their pizza on paper plates. The doorbell does ring twice, so Tessa leaves the room as George takes a bite into his slice of pizza.
Dallas makes George spit out his bite of pizza after explaining that no one is allowed to take a bite of their food unless everyone is seated at the table at the same time. So, later that night, Dallas unplugs the alarm clock and lamp on George's bedside table to make way for her beauty products. Then, she clears George's underwear drawer and fills it with her collection of yoga pants. After she mentions this, she starts to poke fun at George and his unflattering, dumpy white boxer shorts.
Once he starts to tell her that a woman should keep her hands off a man's "undies", she starts to mace him with spritses of lavender spray, so he eventually storms from the room. That night, George and Tessa hear activity occurring downstairs. George quips a curtain rod and finds that the noises are coming from the laundry room, so he swings open the door and finds that the clamor is Dallas, who is sitting on his washing machine in the dark, guiltily eating a "Croque Monsieur".
He drops the curtain rod and him and Dallas have an affectionate conversation with each other about how hard it mush be to have to raise their only children on their own. The next morning, Dalia and Tessa walk into the kitchen were George and Dallas are in their robes and feeding each other scrambled eggs off the floor while discussing the various upcoming events occurring in Suburbia This leads Tessa and Dalia to map out a plan that will separate both families and put them back in their original houses.
Tessa claims that she is the notorious Chatswin doll thief and has Dalia on board to purposely frame her in Mr. So, George gets called up to school and Tessa claims she did it because the suburbs have been boring her. George says he'll consider moving back to New York in the future. The episode "Halloween" starts out with two mothers in tracksuits power-walking together, who then drop their jaws in pure horror as they look on at the monstrosity that has become of Altman's home.
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In the front yard, George and Tessa are seen hanging up ghoulish and gory decorations, including rows of tombstones and a bloody guillotine. Their house is even half-covered by a cobweb and an over sized spider. Tessa then explains that in the city, rather than fake decorations, they had to worry about real murder scenes.
It then is cut to a flashback of Tessa and George dressed as a pilot and a mime. They happily knock on a door, chanting out the usual "Trick-or-Treat!Suburgatory - The Altmans Best Of Chapter 1
He says that a murder recently occurred in the apartment, proven by the crime scene tape and bloody hand prints. George chuckles, saying that the two police officers obviously went the whole nine yards to put a chill in people, though then the two officers dead seriously pull a sealed corpse from the building.
Then, back at the Altman home as the exercising women scuttle off in a scare as Noah pulls up to the Altman's house and questions the bloody and gory decorations. Noah tells George that any home decorating for the holidays must first be approved by the community board, as to not ruin the aesthetics of the neighborhood.
After all, Chatswin always wins the award for "most uniform houses. Though, George refuses and decides to pay a visit to the president of the community board herself - Dallas Royce. We then see Dallas standing on a latter in the middle of Chatswin High's cafeteria, stringing up large decorative lollipops and gum drops. She proceeds to tell him that those kinds of decorations belong in East Chatswin, where they have only one frozen yogurt shop and self-service gasoline pumps.
Guillotines are too scary for the children. I think from a creative standpoint, us writers feel like we get to have our cake and eat it too, over here. Do you think that George and Dallas are truly compatible, or do you think there would always be obstacles and reasons for them to fall apart? I think there's obstacles. I think that one of the things that I like so much about their breakup is that they both make such good points.
And I think that George saying "Dallas, you don't love yourself, and this person doesn't love you as you and you're in the way," I think Dallas definitely has some work to do, in order to be in a proper relationship. I think that she should be single. She's not spent much time being alone and I think we watched her jump headfirst into George Altman straight out of her divorce.
She needs to spend a little time working on her identity outside of a relationship.
And George -- even though it does seem like a practical choice choosing Dallas -- I do think he chose with his head a little bit more than with his heart. I think he has a real soft spot for Dallas. It remains to be seen if they're soulmates in that way, if you subscribe to that kind of notion, but I do think it will be fun to see him single again and maybe navigating a little bit of that, God willing.
If we have the opportunity to have Malin Akerman back in our world, it's one of the juiciest potential storylines we have -- taking our show that was about a single dad and how he raises his daughter alone, and having our show evolve into what it means to co-parent with someone who you thought was out of the picture, and navigate that a little bit.
Because speaking of chemistry, George and Alex, as we saw at Thanksgiving, there's a lot there. They're not indifferent to each other and I do think that's a fantastic area that I would just love to mine.
But [Malin's] got a potential pilot and she's got a baby that's due any minute, so we'll see. You used Alex sparingly throughout the season, which emphasized the awkwardness and unfamiliarity between her and Tessa.
Was that due to scheduling conflicts or just because you didn't want to overplay your hand? She was available earlier I think she may have been pregnant in our Christmas episode. So that was coming. She was quite pregnant when we shot the finale, although you can't really see it on here. We did a good job of masking that. So she was preparing for how much she wanted to do at that time and she was also preparing to shoot a pilot, but my feeling in general was that we should exercise some restraint there.
It's not accidental -- I do think you become numb to it if you go to it too frequently. I do think it loses its value and I think it really is a hard line to walk in terms of the right amount of all of these things that make this mixture. Even for Dalia, we waited to do this storyline with her and we try to move the spotlight around and not over-expose any one of these areas, particularly with this Alex stuff and the emotional stuff.
My biggest concern was that it would start to feel formulaic or calculated. I think you just have to do it with a light touch. We do emotional and big holiday episodes and big finales and have it dancing at the sidelines and just beneath the surface on other episodes.
But then again, we are a half-hour show so we try not to weigh everyone down too much with our baggage along the way. George and Tessa have a great relationship, but they've also had their share of ups and downs. If you're renewed for Season 3, do you intend for Tessa's summer with Alex to actually present her as a viable alternative to George's parenting, or for it to help Tessa appreciate her father more and realize it was more of a "grass is greener on the other side" experience?
I think that Tessa loves her dad and has an enormous amount of empathy and affection for him. One of the things that you navigate when your parents are divorced You do play both sides against each other and I don't think that was ever an option for her because her mom wasn't around. I think it's really natural and relatable and I hope everyone forgives her for it because I do think it's very human and teenage kind of emotion and progression for her to explore that.